Am I Going To Church With You?

You want to know if I am going to church with you on Sunday?

I don't think so.

You've invited me to your church lots of times, but the way you've talked about everybody there, it sounds as if they are a bunch of jerks. I'm not sure I could smile and pretend I like them. You seem to do that easily enough, but I can't.

Every Monday you have a headache because the choir blasted their newest worship chorus loud enough to drown out a NASCAR race. I get chills just hearing you describe how cold it is in the Sanctuary. I'm sorry, but spending my Sundays being miserable with you isn't the way I want to waste my precious weekends.

I'd like my kids to see all the puppet shows and classroom decorations you've told me about, but you have to confront the teachers for mistreating your children so often that I'd be afraid to let mine out of my sight.

Your pastor sounds like a nice guy, but the way he keeps pushing you to give more money really bothers me. Especially after all you told me about going to their house for that Christmas party. I'm sorry, but all the time he would be preaching I'd be thinking about how he drives that new SUV while you are driving that old car that you borrowed from your dad.

If you were still leading that ladies group I'd probably come to one of your meetings. But, hey, if they couldn't work with my schedule and if they didn't like the ideas I suggested, I'd have told them off and walked out just like you did.

We were getting dressed to go to your Christmas drama until you called. We didn't want to sit by ourselves so, when you said your family wasn't going, we decided to stay home. My daughter was looking forward to it, but when I explained that your little girl was upset because she had to be a sheep instead of an angel, she understood. At least she said she did. She had a funny look on her face, but she didn't say anything else, so I guess she understood.

I've thought about just biting the bullet and showing up one Wednesday for Bible study night. But as sure as I do, it will be one of those nights when the pastor ignores the clock and goes on and on and on. Like you say, he can sleep all day if he wants, but things get going pretty early around our house.

Wouldn't it be great if we could all be pastors?

Well, anyway, you wanted to know why I haven't visited your church yet. There's a lot more that I could say. After all, we've been working together for six months now, and church is all you talk about. But I think I've said enough to let you know where I'm coming from.

Even though I probably won't come to your church, I want you to know that you can still count on me to be your friend. When you need to vent again, I'll be here. After all, isn't that what you said friends are for?

©2006 Doug Ellingsworth